I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
