he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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