Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
