it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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