We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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