That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
