You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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