Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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