I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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