Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
