I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
