Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
