Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
