Don't you send me to vm
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
