Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize