No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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