walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
