Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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