Walk of Shame. In a state park.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
