a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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