she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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