Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
