You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
