I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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