Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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