That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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