Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
