it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
