it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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