I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
