I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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