please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".