i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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