I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
