i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
