i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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