Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
