it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
