Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
