It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
