just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
