everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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