his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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