i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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