They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize