UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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