Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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