Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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