How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
