The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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