I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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