It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
