Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Never underestimate the power of titties
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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