You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
