she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
