I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you inspire me to be a worse person
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
