Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
