I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize