My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
